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A
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eh?-ku
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Canadian-content haiku (Canada has
laws about this).
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Abe-ku
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Haiku about Lincoln.
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achoo-ku
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For those with allergies.
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alibi-ku
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When you’re in trouble with the law.
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alumni-ku
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Haiku for your alma mater.
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B
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bamboo-ku
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In case you haven’t imitated Japanese
haiku enough already.
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Barbie-ku
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For those who make a mean steak sauce
(no wait, this goes with Ken-ku).
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bee-ku
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Apiarian haiku.
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BK-ku
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Think outside the bun-ku. I mean,
have it your way-ku.
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Brit-ku
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Because the British think their haiku
are different from American haiku.
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buy-ku
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Commercial haiku, to get you to buy
something you don’t need (for use only on
eBay). +
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C
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see-ku
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Haiku limited to the visual sense.
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canoe-ku
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In case you’re up a creek without a kigo.
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cashew-ku
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For when you’re nuts about haiku.
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celebri-ku
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You know you’ve seen them—haiku on
movie stars you see too much about on TV and in the papers.
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chai-ku
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Poems about tea. See also shy-ku.
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chew-ku
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Haiku limited to the sense of taste.
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choo-choo-ku
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For train fanatics. +
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Christmas-ku
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Jolly poems to get you in the haiku
spirit.
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cook-ku
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Culinary haiku (or maybe for bird or
clock lovers?).
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coup-ku
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Haiku for third-world military
leaders, or wannabes.
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compu-ku
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Computer-generated “pearls of
wisdom.”
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cry-ku
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Depressing haiku.
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cuckoo-ku
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Haiku for birdwatchers, or maybe
stutterers.
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D
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D-ku
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Ice cream haiku (D-ku something
different).
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déjà-ku
|
You’ve seen this before, haven’t you?
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Dejah-ku
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Poems written by Northwest haiku poet
Dejah Léger.
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die-ku
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Death poems. Haiku to die for.
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dry-ku
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The opposite of cry-ku.
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dyke-ku
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Haiku about saving Holland with your
finger . . . I think.
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E
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eek-ku
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Scary haiku, for Halloween.
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emu-ku
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Well, why not?
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eroti-ku
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Not for the feint of syllable.
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ewe-ku
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Haiku for the sheepish.
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F
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fem-ku
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Ku by womxn. +
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flu-ku
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In case you’re sick, write these. If
you’re afraid of being sick, try bird-flu-ku.
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fly-ku
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Haiku for pilots.
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fry-ku
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Poems about fried food, or maybe
sunburns.
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G
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gay-ku
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Happy haiku. No, really.
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gee-whiz-ku
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Treacly haiku to make you say, “Aww,
shucks, that’s cute enough to gag me” (think Hello Kitty haiku—and yes,
there’s already a book of these).
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guy-ku
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Haiku for guys (would you believe
this is actually trademarked?).
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G-ku
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For guys who read men’s fashion
magazines.
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H
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H-ku
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Military haiku (must be written only
by military personnel, lest they be inauthentic).
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Hallmark-ku
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Oh, please, no!
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haven’tgotta-ku
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For those who still think
English-language haiku is 5-7-5.
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hi-ku
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Poems for greetings.
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high-ku
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For druggies.
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Hindu-ku
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Depends where you live.
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Honolulu-ku
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Also depends where you live.
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Honolulumumu-ku
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If you’re wearing a . . . well, you
get it.
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huh-ku
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American-content haiku (what, you
thought haiku had to be about Japan?).
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hullabaloo-ku
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Poems about which there is altogether
too much fuss.
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I
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eye-ku
|
Haiku limited to the visual sense (no
wait, this one already exists).
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I-ku
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Narcissistic, self-centered haiku (or
maybe you could write about a narcissus plant admiring itself in the mirror,
since no one’s ever written about that before).
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igloo-ku
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For those north of the Arctic circle.
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J
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jail-ku
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Prison haiku (must be written by
inmates only).
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jay-ku
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Haiku about blue jays (Stellar’s jays
will do, or Toronto baseball).
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jew-ku
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No, no—this is short for haiku about
jewelry.
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jive-ku
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If it ain’t got that swing, call it
something else . . . like zappai.
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K
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cake-ku
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Haiku confined to . . . cakes? (You
could write them in frosting . . .)
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okay-ku
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For those who want to write merely
mediocre haiku, which seems to be too common a practice.
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Kalamazoo-ku
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Surely someone there must write
haiku.
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Kalamazoomumu-ku
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On second thought, nah!
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Kalamazookazoo-ku
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On third thought, feel free to hum
right along.
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kangaroo-ku
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Haiku in praise of marsupials.
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kazoo-ku
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For the musically inclined . . . er,
disinclined.
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kinkajou-ku
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Look it up.
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kinky-ku
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See XXX-ku.
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kitchy-ku
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Can you say “My Little Pony-ku”?
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kiwi-ku
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Could be about the fruit . . . or by
New Zealanders.
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ku de grâce
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A prize winner. Either that or a real
stinker.
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kudzu-ku
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You can’t kill the darn plants, so
you might as well write millions of little poems about ’em.
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ku-ku
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For when you go cuckoo from writing
too many haiku—or too many types of haiku. Also, Kooku was the name of an
actual 17th-century Japanese haiku poet. Not to be confused with kuku, an
Iranian omelette or the West African women’s fishing song. But wait, there’s more!
Just do your best to keep it all straight.
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L
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hell-ku
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Poems by the devil, or those planning
a trip there.
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lie-ku
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For those who don’t care about
authenticity (although, maybe you can’t always tell).
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loo-ku
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See poo-ku.
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low-coup
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The opposite of haiku (Amiri Baraka
thinks he was the first to come up with this).
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M
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em-ku
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Haiku with empathetic themes—or too
many em dashes.
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Malibu-ku
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For yuppy-preppy surfer beach types
with trust funds.
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Malibumumu-ku
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Yeah, yeah, quit with the mumus
already.
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me-ku
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For solipsists, or for those who
think that no one else in the universe writes haiku half as good as they do. And watch out for me-too-ku!
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moo-ku
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Bovine haiku, with lots of
rumination.
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multiply-ku
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Haiku for rabbits.
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my-ku
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Idiosyncratic haiku, written in
abject isolation.
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myspace-ku
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What angst-ridden teen poets feel
compelled to write online. Or used to.
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N
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Enya-ku
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Poems to be read while listening to
“Orinico Flow” for the ten-millionth time.
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enviro-ku
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Haiku for tree-huggers.
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no-ku
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When you care enough to say the very
least.
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O
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O-ku
|
Sexual haiku about seeking the Big O.
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doh-ku
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For Homer Simpson fans (why should
Lisa write all the haiku in the
family?). +
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Oz-ku
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Upside-down haiku (yeah, yeah, tired
joke). Or maybe if you have an out-of-Kansas experience, sometimes known as
Toto-ku.
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P
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pee-ku
|
Must you ask?
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peekaboo-ku
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Haiku for the diaper crowd.
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Peru-ku
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Haiku for Peruvians (after all, their
president was Japanese).
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pie-ku
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Apple-ku, pumpkin-ku,
lemon-meringue-ku? Go for it.
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pi-ku
|
Haiku with 3, 1, and then 4
syllables, or words, in celebration of pi. + +
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poo-ku
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No, really, must you ask?
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Pooh-ku
|
For A. A. Milne fans.
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Potter-ku
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Because J. K. Rowling might as well
invade everything.
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Q
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cue-ku
|
Haiku for pool sharks.
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Q-ku
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Star Trek haiku (Trekkies will
understand).
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queue-ku
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Haiku about standing in line.
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R
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arrgh-ku
|
Yup, haiku about pirates.
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R2D2-ku
|
Yeah, Star Wars fans can have their
fun, too.
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ragout-ku
|
Also known as stew-ku.
|
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rap-ku
|
Is this even possible?
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rendezvous-ku
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Haiku for trysters.
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rye-ku
|
Poems about bread and other doughy
comestibles (sometimes confused with senryu, if they’re really . . . rye).
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S
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escargot-ku
|
Issa would love this! Or maybe not.
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scifai-ku
|
Wait, you mean people are already
writing these?
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shampoo-ku
|
For while you’re showering.
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Shanghai-ku
|
If your name is Shang.
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shoe-ku
|
Haiku for Imelda Marcos.
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shy-ku
|
Haiku by the timid. Not to be
confused with Chi-ku (pronounced as “shy-ku”), that untimid Chicago-area
haiku group.
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sigh-ku
|
Sappy haiku to tug at your heart
(think one-eyed puppies and kittens, and throw in some armless homeless
people, too). See also kitchy-ku.
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skidoo-ku
|
Poems about departure, or maybe
snowmobiling.
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|
sly-ku
|
Sneaky haiku.
|
|
snafu-ku
|
Haiku about military screw-ups.
|
|
space-ku
|
For the scifai-ku set. Not to be
confused with myspace-ku.
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|
spy-ku
|
If your name is Bond . . . Haiku
Bond.
|
|
Sudoku
|
Shortened name for pseudo-haiku (the
name, however, has recently been usurped by a mildly popular number game).
|
|
sue-ku
|
For attorneys only.
|
|
T
|
taboo-ku
|
Not for the faint of kokoro.
|
|
tattoo-ku
|
Why write haiku just on paper?
|
|
tea-ku
|
More poems about tea. What is it with
haiku and tea?
|
|
text-ku
|
ld pnd frg jmps n wtrs snd
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Thai-ku
|
If you live in Thailand.
|
|
thigh-ku
|
This is one place where you could put
that tattoo-ku.
|
|
tie-dyed-ku
|
For hippies at heart (be sure to wear
some hana in your hair).
|
|
Timbuktu-ku
|
Haiku for poets who have been
everywhere.
|
|
try-ku
|
Haiku for those who need
encouragement (no really, it’s not that hard).
|
|
U
|
you-ku
|
Poems purely about you. See me-ku.
+
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|
YouTube-ku
|
Keep up with the culture, people.
|
|
U-ku
|
Written by professors (who must wear
plaid blazers with suede elbow patches).
|
|
ukulele-ku
|
In case kazoo-ku aren’t highbrow
enough for you.
|
|
under-ku
|
You-know-what . . . by Aussies.
|
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uni-ku
|
One-line haiku.
|
|
V
|
TV-ku
|
For those who live vicariously.
|
|
vee-ku
|
Poems about migrating geese.
|
|
Versailles-ku
|
European tourist haiku.
|
|
voodoo-ku
|
In case you want to send a gift haiku
to a rival poet.
|
|
W
|
Waterloo-ku
|
Another name, maybe, for death haiku?
|
|
WB-ku
|
TV haiku for the young-adult
television demographic (now known as myQ-ku).
|
|
whirled-ku
|
Sort of like whirled peas, which
everyone wants, only different.
|
|
woo-ku
|
Haiku for marriage proposals.
|
|
X
|
ex-ku
|
For poems that got over being haiku.
Or for those in a 17-step recovery program (list only your first name when
publishing). +
|
|
XXX-ku
|
Not just erotic haiku, hard-core.
|
|
Y
|
why-ku
|
For those who don’t see what all the
fuss is about.
|
|
Yahoo!-ku
|
Internet haiku (surely there isn’t
enough of it yet).
|
|
yoga-ku
|
For when you feel yourself getting
bent out of shape.
|
|
Z
|
zee-ku
|
Haiku by zee French.
|
|
zoo-ku
|
Poems about exotic animals, furry or
otherwise.
|
|
zed-ku
|
Those Canadians again (they have
those laws).
|
