In Response to a Poetix Book Review
I
wrote the following commentary on 3 March 2017 in response to a February 2017 book
review by G. Murray Thomas on the Poetix website.
I sent it to the reviewer, who kindly arranged to have it added to the website.
The postscript at the end presents a follow-up discussion. The review by G. Murray Thomas of Deborah P Kolodji’s Highway of Sleeping Towns gets many things right about haiku, especially regarding misunderstandings of syllable count and the value of the two-part juxtaposition. However, in haiku parlance, there’s no such term as the “cutting line.” What he means is the kireji, or “cutting word,” which is manifested in English by a two-part juxtapositional structure. In Japanese it’s an actual word with one or two syllables that functions as a sort of spoken punctuation, dividing the poem into two parts. It has never been a “line.” In three-line haiku in English, one line is indeed often a separate grammatical and imagistic unit from the rest of the poem, but the cut itself happens between the lines, thus there is a “cut,” but not a “cutting line.” Another misstep is where he says three haiku in particular “come off as forced; they don’t create the expected poetic resonance.” Haiku appreciation is always subjective to be sure, but I would suggest that these poems do resonate, and very well. Near the end of his review, Thomas says “Here are a couple [of haiku] which I needed to study and ponder before I realized how much they had going on in them.” I would suggest that he needed to apply that same study and sensitivity to the three examples that he says feel “forced”—because they too have a lot more going on in them than he seems to have realized. To focus on the first example, “cold summer / one suitcase circling / baggage claim” speaks of loss and absence and distance. This is actually one of the book’s best poems, rich with nuance. Why is the one suitcase circling and abandoned? Who has been forgotten or never made it on the plane? And why? Travelling in the summer is normally a pleasurable thing to do in warm months, so the situation here makes it perfect to say that this must be a cold summer, both literally and figuratively. Furthermore, especially when haiku is a poetry of the seasons, the endless circling of abandoned or unclaimed luggage resonates with the cycle of the seasons invoked by the mention of summer. And don’t all of us sometimes wish we could be rid of some of our baggage? The poem has much sadness and irony. The other two examples have their own virtues to offer as well. Indeed, the book’s poems offer much resonance to sensitive and patient readers, as well as more immediate gratification. Some of the haiku in Kolodji’s book may offer more of a challenge than others, but a greater challenge leads to greater rewards. Here are the three poems under discussion: cold summer one suitcase circling baggage claim late jacaranda the bridesmaid dress too small her old cd on the long drive wild mustard In his magnanimous response to my comments, which he arranged to have added to the review, G. Murray Thomas said via email that “As for the poems, or lines, I found arbitrary, I stand by [my position]. Yes, the image of the lone suitcase is very resonant, but I feel ‘cold summer’ is too general to really add much poetic depth; perhaps something more specific [such as] ‘cold August’ or ‘rainy Fourth’ would have worked better.” Here’s my comment in response:
Thomas also said “But more generally, the poems I cited, as well as several others in the book, have a similar problem—two great lines, and an arbitrary third line. In the other two examples I cited, she seems too easily to fall back on a flower image to fill out the haiku.” To which I responded:
Thomas concluded his comments to me by saying that Debbie’s book is a “very strong collection,” and that “resonance is a personal response,” which is certainly true. He was certainly in favour of the book for the greatest part. —13 March 2017
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