On the Worst Day of Christmas, My Ex-Love Gave to Me
Try singing this loudly at your next holiday party, or get a whole chorus together and make it a sing-along. Previously unpublished.
On the worst day of Christmas, my ex-love gave
to me—
a bucket
of elephant pee.
On the second day of Christmas, my ex-love
gave to me—
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the third day of Christmas, my ex-love gave
to me—
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my ex-love
gave to me—
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my ex-love gave
to me—
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my ex-love gave
to me—
six vomit
smoothies,
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my ex-love
gave to me—
seven
poopy diapers,
six vomit
smoothies,
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my ex-love
gave to me—
eight
snotty hankies,
seven
poopy diapers,
six vomit
smoothies,
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my ex-love gave
to me—
nine
rotting corpses,
eight
snotty hankies,
seven
poopy diapers,
six vomit
smoothies,
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my ex-love gave
to me—
ten
earwax sculptures,
nine
rotting corpses,
eight
snotty hankies,
seven
poopy diapers,
six vomit
smoothies,
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my ex-love
gave to me—
eleven
puking warthogs,
ten
earwax sculptures,
nine
rotting corpses,
eight
snotty hankies,
seven
poopy diapers,
six vomit
smoothies,
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my ex-love
gave to me—
twelve
elevator farts,
eleven
puking warthogs,
ten
earwax sculptures,
nine
rotting corpses,
eight
snotty hankies,
seven
poopy diapers,
six vomit
smoothies,
five
bowls of pus,
four
hornet stings,
three
dunghills,
two
parasites,
and a
bucket of elephant pee.
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