2002 Haiku Poets of Northern California Rengay ContestFirst published in the Haiku
Poets of Northern California rengay contest results flyer in early 2003. Originally
written in December of 2002. See also the postscript at the end.
I believe a rengay is best judged not just on the quality of its individual
verses—all of which should reach a consistent standard—but on the rengay’s
overall theme and effect. Merely having six spectacular verses is not
sufficient to make a rengay. The theme must be consistently maintained, yet
varied enough so as not to be too repetitive. The theme should also be
immediate and clear (I prefer concrete rather than abstract themes). In addition,
the shifts between verses, much like the shifts in renku, should fit smoothly
yet possibly surprise the reader with freshness and originality. However,
having even an utterly clear theme won’t necessarily keep substandard verses
afloat, a single poor one of which will sink an otherwise strong rengay. Thus
rengay is the sustained art of collaborative writing where two or three
partners may express their poetic creativity through well-developed thematic
haiku and haiku-like verses using a generally set pattern. The resulting poems
can provide very rewarding and memorable reading, as I believe you will see in
the results of the 2002 Haiku Poets of Northern California International Rengay
Contest.
Rengay was invented in 1992 by
Garry Gay, and soon afterwards HPNC began honouring this increasingly popular
verse form with its annual rengay contest. The 2002 contest marks the tenth
anniversary of rengay’s creation, and over the past ten years many excellent
rengay have been submitted for the contest and also published in various haiku
journals around the world. Rengay continues to expand in popularity, and now
has an active online discussion group located at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rengay
[redirects to https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/rengay/info]. Again this
year, many fine rengay were submitted for the HPNC rengay contest, and the
majority of them had many excellent qualities, particularly the top three
choices. My congratulations to the winners for their enjoyable collaborative
creations, which it was an honour and pleasure for me to read.
—Michael Dylan Welch, Judge
First Place
Finger Melodies
Maria Steyn and kirsty karkow
almost spring . . .
the neighbor’s daughter
plays “Fur Elise”
snap! snap! snapping
the stems off fresh green beans
dance studio
the click of castanets
behind a red door
the monk
never skips a bead . . .
muffled mantras
a boy shakes his bucket
river pebbles glisten
final exam
her bright nails drumming
on the desk
This fine rengay develops not just one theme, but two (the title explains
them). Not only does each verse present a particular kind of sound, but they
are sounds produced by fingers or hands—playing piano, snapping beans, clicking
castanets, clacking beads, shaking a bucket, and drumming fingernails. This
description highlights another commonality in all but one of the verses—a
strong sound verb. But in addition to the sounds that this rengay describes,
also notice the sounds that each verse uses. Count the “s” sounds in all six
verses (especially the first three), and then the sharper “k” sounds (including
the one in “exam”) in the last four verses. The link and shift (while still
maintaining the theme) between the snapping beans and the click of castanets is
particularly fine, and I especially like the mystery of the red door in the
third verse (“Behind the Red Door” might make an evocative and perhaps less
explanatory title for this rengay). Sounds also manifest themselves in the
three snaps, and the alliteration of “muffled mantras.” All in all, a treat for
the ear as well as the fingers—and for everyone who enjoys rengay.
Second Place
White Flannel Sheets
Carolyn Hall and Billie Wilson
the new year—
filling in empty squares
on the calendar
a pause in our walk—
this trackless field of snow
washday—
she smoothes white flannel sheets
still warm from the iron
billowing clouds—
baskets heaped with lavender
for sachets
a fresh ream of paper
on father’s roll-top desk
birch trees creaking
in a north wind—
I call the collie home
A theme of whiteness pervades this collaboration, an emptiness or blankness
counterbalanced by the rengay’s other rich details. “White Flannel Sheets”
features fitting beginning and ending verses, and in between we are taken
through winter to the spring of lavender to another autumn. In rengay, the
links between verses (the connections from verse to verse) can also use renku
linking techniques in addition to developing a theme. In this rengay, we can
see this sort of linking in the connection from the smell of the warm iron to
the smell of lavender. This kind of linking demonstrates a valuable responsiveness
that adds depth to the rengay, and applies a valuable renku technique. In all,
this rengay has pleasant verses with engaging imagery, and I particularly like
the first and last verses, the verses in a rengay that should always be the
strongest.
Third Place
Dummy Under the Blanket
Carolyne Rohrig and Carolyn Hall
spring snowstorm
she dreams a husband
with another name
the dime-store duck call
attracts a dove
mailing
a favorite love letter
back to herself
more girls than boys
in the ballroom dance class—
she foxtrots backwards
wearing new high heels
with her nightgown
the housemother
discovers a dummy
under the blanket
The theme of love or other relationships developed in this rengay, sometime
implied, is not its only theme. An unusualness colours each relationship, such
as having a dove respond to a person blowing a duck call (with the birds
symbolizing an implied or longed-for mate). This unusualness in each verse is
really a lack of the mate one desires. Only in the last verse (fittingly) is
the longing resolved, in that the dummy under the blanket suggests that the
person who was supposed to be in the bed has gone off to meet someone, perhaps,
at last, for a romantic tryst. In addition, each verse strikes me as being
written from a female perspective, and certainly is about female subjects—”she”
appears in two verses, “her” or “herself” in two other verses, plus “girls,” “mother,”
and “dove” also appear. This rengay captures a spirit of yearning love that is
understatedly yet delightfully resolved in the final verse.
Congratulations to each of the winners in the 2002 HPNC International Rengay
Contest, and thanks to all those who entered.
Postscript: Some Comments About RengayOriginally sent to the HPNC Newsletter,
although I still have to check to see if it was published or not. Written in January
of 2003.
It was my pleasure to judge HPNC’s 2002 rengay contest, the results of which
will be announced separately. My comments on each winning rengay focus on their
successes, but here I’d separately like to offer a few comments on the
weaknesses of some of the rengay that did not place. A number of them had
abstract themes, or I couldn’t determine what the theme was at all (a problem
that I believe is more likely to occur for many readers if the theme is
abstract). Certain rengay had fine themes, clearly presented, but some
individual verses were flat as haiku, using tired or awkward phrases. In some
cases, the careful development of the theme seemed to compromise the quality of
the verses as individual haiku. And in one case one person wrote each of the
three clearly flawed or weaker verses, suggesting that perhaps the more
experienced partner might have tried encouraging the less-experienced writer to
reach a higher standard. In at least a couple of cases, the last verse
inexplicably abandoned the theme, producing no worthwhile effect that I could
determine. Some verses were too explanatory or too abstract, and more than one
rengay had obvious typos. A few of the rengay also didn’t follow the prescribed
patterns (for two or three writers), though one entry at least acknowledged a
deliberate departure from the pattern. Garry Gay has said repeatedly that
rengay will be what the poets who write it choose to make of it, and there’s
certainly room for experimentation, variety, and having fun. But among some who
may be new to rengay, I think there’s also a need for greater understanding and
discipline regarding the crafting of the rengay as a whole, and in writing
polished individual verses. These are subjective comments, of course, and I
hope that both winning and not winning will not be taken too seriously.
I’d also like to offer a further
comment on variations of rengay. Personally, I think the established patterns
for two or three writers are adequate as they are, though I appreciate the
creativity of writers who experiment with other variations. The “solo” rengay
has proved effective, for example, though it loses the collaborative nature
that is central to rengay’s energy. Six-person rengay have also been tried a
few times, and they enable six people to participate in a linked thematic poem
that can be completed quickly. Other variations in rengay have also been tried,
such as changing the length, pattern, and authorship of specific verses. Though
I think some experimentation can be worthwhile, I believe there’s a point of
diminishing returns. At the very least, I would encourage those who experiment
to be sure that they understand what rengay is—that it has to be thematic and
follows a set pattern—and why. In her brand-new book from Kodansha, Writing and Enjoying Haiku: A Hands-on Guide,
Jane Reichhold presents rengay’s form incorrectly, saying it has an A-3, B-2,
A-3, B-2, A-3, B-2 pattern (she has the second half wrong; it should be B-3,
A-2, B-3). Reichhold’s mistake is not just a typo, as she also says that the
linking pattern is just like that of a tan renga, repeated three times, which
is incorrect. In contrast to this, it’s important to understand the reasons why
there’s a specific pattern of A-3, B-2, A-3, B-3, A-2, B-3, something developed
by Garry Gay so that it was specifically different from the first six verses of
renku. I encourage all fans of rengay, especially those new to it, to learn as
much as they can about the form so that any experiments might have a grounded
context in which the experimenters might assess them (a good place to learn is
through the online discussion group located at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rengay
[redirects to https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/rengay/info]). At the very
least, though, all manner of experimentation proves that rengay is alive and
well, and for that I’m grateful.
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