Much Ado About Nothing

Nothing has been featured on Oprah, Good Morning America, and Wayne’s World. Nothing has also been endorsed by the following celebrities and also-rans, because we paid them. Nothing.

  • “Thanks for nothing.” —Stephen Hawking

  • “Nothing is priceless.” —Bob Barker

  • “Nothing lasts forever.” —Tom Schiller

  • “Nothing is too small to matter.” —Samuel Menashe

  • “We can never have enough nothing.” —Leo Toystory

  • “It’s better than nothing.” —Gautama Buddha

  • “Nothingness is apt to excite, and with good reason.” —D. E. Harding

  • “Yea, verily, there is certainly much ado about nothing.” —Send-Me-the-Bill Shakespeare

  • “Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee.” —Ernest Nothingway

  • “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing.” —Mothers Everywhere

  • “To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual.” —Oscar Wilde

  • “Your publication is good for nothing.” —Polly the Parrot

  • “Nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’ but it’s free.” —Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster

  • “Subscribe. You’ve got nothing to lose.” —Mugsy Malone

  • “Nothing happens.” —René Descartes

  • “Dude, I tell you, subscribing is totally good for nothing.” —Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski

  • “Say nothing and just make music and you’ll find plenty to say.” —Richard Hugo, Triggering Town

  • “This publication seems to have come to nothing.” —United States Postal Service

  • “Getting published by your magazine is nothing to shout about.” —Paul Brigadoon

  • “Have you learned nothing?!?” —Mom

  • “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” —Jonathan Swiffer

  • “Nothing is better!” —Donald Rump

  • “Yes, you’ll find nothing in my dictionary.” —Noah Webster

  • “This year, everybody is getting nothing for Christmas.” —Ebeneezer Screw

  • “Really, this publication is nothing of consequence.” —Derek Flint

  • “There’s nothing in space. But more importantly, there’s space in nothing.” —Buzz Lightyear

  • “Your editor surely has nothing upstairs.” —Stephen Hawqueen

  • “Wow, there’s really something to this!” —Jerry Seinfeld

  • “This journal is perfect for poets who have nothing to say.” —Bashōpper

  • “I read your entire publication very quickly under a steamroller—in nothing flat.” —Judge Doom

  • “Shopping has never been better. Nothing is just my size!” —London Hilton

  • “The best journal out there for the empty set.” —Joe “Math Whiz” Beetlebottom

  • “Do nothing.” —Hugh Hefner

  • “Nothing is more real than nothing.” —Samuel Beckett

  • “I shall have nothing to do with your vapid publication.” —Upchuck Dickens

  • “They used to say that nothing is certain but death and taxes. But they’re wrong. Nothing is certain too.” —Former Subscriber

  • “Nothing succeeds like excess.” —Donald Thump

  • “Where else can you get something for nothing? Or is it nothing for something?” —Bill Clinton

  • “The editor is nothing to look at.” —Raquel Welch

  • “I have nothing to declare.” —Mike Spencer Bown

  • “Your journal is perfect for when I have nothing to do.” —Ronald McDonald Reagan

  • “Nothing happens. And then you die.” —René Descartes’ brother

  • Nothing.” —Marcel Marceau

  • “Sometimes something is so wonderful, nothing can add to it.” —Marianne Wade

  • “I tried writing for your magazine, but nothing came of it.” —Seren Fargo

  • “Seeing into Nothingness—this is the true seeing, the eternal seeing.” —Shen-hui

  • “After subscribing for all these years, I still have nothing to show for it.” —Flipped Wilson

  • “Seriously, have you got nothing better to do?” —Henry Afford

  • “You keep publishing my best work every day, but that’s nothing to boast about.” —Robert Frosty

  • “It’s nothing.” —Douglas Adams

  • “Wu wei.” —Lao-Tzu

  • “Poetry makes nothing happen.”

  • —W. H. Auden

  • “Our competitors will stop at nothing.” —The New Yorker

  • “I always told you that you were good for nothing!” —Dad

  • “You have nothing to fear but nothing itself.” —Franklin D. Roosevelt

  • “Thanks to you, I get nothing every day. Make it stop.” —George Dubya Bush

  • “Glad you guys exist. As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.” —Bill “Pearly” Gates

  • “Your journal is nothing to write home about.” —Oscar Wilde

  • “There’s nothing like it!” —Marilyn Monroe

  • “Nothing is sacred.” —Pope John Paul II

  • “Nothing goes to waste.” —Source Unknown

  • “If you haven’t subscribed, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” —Randy Bachman

  • “Doing nothing is very hard to do—you never know when you’re finished.” —neon buddha +