Much Ado About Nothing

Nothing has been featured on Oprah, Good Morning America, and Wayne’s World. Nothing has also been endorsed by the following celebrities and also-rans, because we paid them. Nothing.
  • “Nothing is priceless.” —Bob Barker
  • “Nothing lasts forever.” —Tom Schiller
  • “We can never have enough nothing.” —Leo Toystory
  • “It’s better than nothing.” —Gautama Buddha
  • “Nothingness is apt to excite, and with good reason.” —D. E. Harding
  • “Yea, verily, there is certainly much ado about nothing.” —Send-Me-the-Bill Shakespeare
  • “Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee.” —Ernest Hemingway
  • “To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual.” —Oscar Wilde
  • “Your publication is good for nothing.” —Polly the Parrot
  • “Nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’ but it’s free.” —Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster
  • “Subscribe. You’ve got nothing to lose.” —Mugsy Malone
  • “Nothing happens.” —René Descartes
  • “Dude, I tell you, subscribing is totally good for nothing.” —Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski
  • “Say nothing and just make music and you'll find plenty to say.” —Richard Hugo, Triggering Town
  • “This publication seems to have come to nothing.” —United States Postal Service
  • “Getting published by your magazine is nothing to shout about.” —Paul Brigadoon
  • “Have you learned nothing?!?” —Mom
  • “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” —Jonathan Swiffer
  • “Nothing is better!” —Donald Rump
  • “Yes, you’ll find nothing in my dictionary.” —Noah Webster
  • “This year, everybody is getting nothing for Christmas.” Ebeneezer Screw
  • “Really, this publication is nothing of consequence.” —Derek Flint
  • “There’s nothing in space. But more importantly, there’s space in nothing.” —Buzz Lightyear
  • “Your editor surely has nothing upstairs.” —Stephen Hawqueen
  • “Wow, there’s really something to this!” —Jerry Seinfeld
  • “This journal is perfect for poets who have nothing to say.” —Bashōpper
  • “I read your entire publication very quickly under a steamroller—in nothing flat.” —Judge Doom
  • “Shopping has never been better. Nothing is just my size!” —London Hilton
  • “The best journal out there for the empty set.” —Joe “Math Whiz” Beetlebottom
  • “Do nothing.” —Hugh Hefner
  • Nothing is more real than nothing.” —Samuel Beckett
  • “I shall have nothing to do with your vapid publication.” —Upchuck Dickens
  • “They used to say that nothing is certain but death and taxes. But they’re wrong. Nothing is certain too.” —Former Subscriber
  • “Nothing succeeds like excess.” —Donald Thump
  • “Where else can you get something for nothing? Or is it nothing for something?” —Bill Clinton
  • “The editor is nothing to look at.” —Raquel Welch
  • “I have nothing to declare.” Mike Spencer Bown
  • “Your journal is perfect for when I have nothing to do.” —Ronald McDonald Reagan
  • “Nothing happens. And then you die.” —René Descartes’ brother
  • Nothing.” —Marcel Marceau
  • “Sometimes something is so wonderful, nothing can add to it.” —Marianne Wade
  • I tried writing for your magazine, but nothing came of it.” —Seren Fargo
  • Seeing into Nothingness—this is the true seeing, the eternal seeing.” —Shen-hui
  • “After subscribing for all these years, I still have nothing to show for it.” —Flipped Wilson
  • “Seriously, have you got nothing better to do?”
    —Henry Afford
  • “You keep publishing my best work every day, but that’s nothing to boast about.” —Robert Frosty
  • “It’s nothing.” —Douglas Adams
  • “Wu wei.” —Lao-Tzu
  • “Poetry makes nothing happen.”
    —W. H. Auden
  • “Our competitors will stop at nothing.” —The New Yorker
  • “I always told you that you were good for nothing!” —Dad
  • “You have nothing to fear but nothing itself.” —Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • “Thanks to you, I get nothing every day. Make it stop.” —George Dubya Bush
  • “Glad you guys exist. As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.” —Bill “Pearly” Gates
  • “Your journal is nothing to write home about.” —Oscar Wilde
  • “There’s nothing like it!” —Marilyn Monroe
  • “Nothing’s sacred.” —Pope John Paul II
  • “Nothing goes to waste.” —Source Unknown
  • “If you haven’t subscribed, you ain’t seen nothin yet.” —Randy Bachman
  • “Doing nothing is very hard to do—you never know when you’re finished.” —neon buddha