How to Subscribe to Nothing

To get a free subscription to nothing, please do absolutely nothing. However, if you really want to send $100, or $100,000, or shucks, $100,000,000, we’re happy to send you nothing in return. Please click one of the following PayPal buttons (choose either the daily or hourly option). If you subscribe or renew by the end of the month, we’ll throw in a free bucketful of nothing with your subscription (except that you can’t keep the bucket, because that would be really something). Remember, you always get a lot if you expect nothing. And if you choose not to subscribe, you will truly want for nothing.

If you do not get your subscription regularly, please note that we’re holding nothing back. Nothing withstanding, we guarantee your eternal satisfaction, or we’ll send you nothing in return. See our freshness guarantee, and our double or nothing special offer. After all, nothing is important to us.