Captain Haiku vs. the Arch-Villanelle

by Ed Gaillard

We meet again, Haiku, o best of foes!

Now I shall have revenge on you at last!

This time I’ll beat you with my rhyming blows.

No, Arch-villanelle!

I’ll defeat you, as I have

many times before!

My pounding meter shakes you to your toes;

bow down before the strength of iambs massed!

We meet again, Haiku, o best of foes!

I can take my time,

sneak up on you as slowly

as snails climb mountains.

Take that, Haiku! Damn all your Fuji snows!

The time for such imagery is long past—

this time I’ll beat you with my rhyming blows.

My syllables rain

down upon your head, just as

cherry blossoms fall!

I love seeing the way metaphor flows,

blood of our battle gouting thick and fast.

We meet again, Haiku, o best of foes!

Rainbow after storm:

the colors of our struggle,

like oil on a pond.

Oho! the pace of your invention slows!

Soon you’ll fall back on frogs, you’re so harassed!

This time I’ll beat you with my rhyming blows.

I can outlast you,

escaping your intentions

the way the frog jumps.

Now we’ll see what the final stanza shows.

Have you escaped again, although outclassed?

We’ll meet again, Haiku, o best of foes;

next time I’ll beat you with my rhyming blows.

Ha! I’ll always win—

when your stanzas run out, there’s

always more haiku!

Written by Ed Gaillard on 11 February 1995 in response to a dare by Soren F. Ragsdale. For the complete story, visit http://www.panix.com/~gaillard/HTMLVersions/cap-haik.html. See also my first website, started in September of 1997, called Captain Haiku’s Secret Hideout and here (I’d been known as Captain Haiku for three or four years before starting that website). You can also find me as @CaptainHaiku on Twitter and TikTok. +