August 6
Slept late
Had some good dreams
Five star
Or maybe four
I don’t know
I didn’t sleep too good.
Then I pulled back the bedclothes
Threw on my bathrobe
and clambered
In bare feet
To the bathroom.
So I got undressed
And exposed myself to the morning.
I urinated.
The shower was good ’n hot
And I took too long
Thinking
I leaned against the grimy wet tiles
Head down.
The water streamed down my face.
It got in my eyes.
When I was done,
I got out
And broke the shower door
Maybe I’m clumsy
But I don’t think so.
I toweled myself dry
Still fighting to keep awake
I hung up my damp towel
As neatly as possible
I don’t know why . . .
And pulled my bathrobe back on.
I went back to my room
The floor was metal cold
And I got dressed.
It didn’t take too long.
I put on yesterday’s socks
And shirt and such.
Why? ’Cause it didn’t matter.
Then I went and had some breakfast
Bacon and eggs and toast ’n jam.
And then I threw up.
Next thing I knew it was time to go
So they took me to the courtyard
And shot me.
From Ninety-Seven Poems, and previously published, in a slightly different version, in The Stuttering Priest, 1984.