August 6
Slept late
Had some good dreams
Five star
Or maybe four
I don’t know
I didn’t sleep too good.
Then I pulled back the bedclothes
Threw on my bathrobe
and clambered
In bare feet
To the bathroom.
So I got undressed
And exposed myself to the morning.
I urinated.
The shower was good ’n hot
And I took too long
Thinking
I leaned against the grimy wet tiles
Head down.
The water streamed down my face.
It got in my eyes.
When I was done,
I got out
And broke the shower door
Maybe I’m clumsy
But I don’t think so.
Anyway,
I toweled myself dry
Still fighting to keep awake
I hung up my damp towel
As neatly as possible
I don’t know why . . .
And pulled my bathrobe back on.
I went back to my room
The floor was metal cold
And I got dressed.
It didn’t take too long.
I put on yesterday’s underwear
And yesterday’s socks
And shirt and such.
Why? ’Cause it didn’t matter.
Then I went and had some breakfast
Bacon and eggs and toast ’n jam.
And then I threw up.
Next thing I knew it was time to go
So they took me to the courtyard
And shot me.
From The Stuttering Priest, 1984. See also the slightly different version that appears in Ninety-Seven Poems, also 1984.